Don't Speak English

This is hilarious !!

This piece of news appeared in a local daily today.

A Malay guy was driving through a kampung in Sibu, when a car in front of him blocked his way. He got out from his car and discovered that the car in front was parked and stationary, and the driver was nowhere to be seen. He then asked a passerby, who was also a Malay guy, whether he knew the driver of the parked car.

The passerby told him that the parked car's owner was having a meal at a nearby stall and pointed out the person to him. The Malay driver then approached the driver of the parked car, who was a Chinese, and told him in English that his car was blocking his way.

Upon hearing this, the Malay passerby came up to the Malay driver and scolded him for speaking English to the Chinese guy. The verbal exchange between the two finally escalated into a fight.

While the two kampung guys were trading blows, the Chinese guy quickly and quietly left the scene, got into his car and drove away.

I just wonder how the two settle their grievances.

Life's full of humorous situations, and this one somewhat tickles me pink and had me in stitches all morning. Thanks to my Angel for this wonderful piece of stress reliever.

Should I Get This Cool 2-wheel Cruiser ?

I used to ride bikes during schooldays and the earlier part of my working life. Times really flies, and now I've been driving cars for so long (some 20 years or more, it seems), I wonder whether I can still handle motorbikes. My love affair with the 2-wheeler has not died, though. Recently I have been doing some window shopping and homework on bikes, and this scooter really grabs my attention. I'm now itching, contemplating and pondering, whether to get this handsome 2-wheel cruiser (my original target was the Yamaha Ego priced around RM5200.00). My search on the Internet turns out mostly positive recommendation for it. Another review also gives it good scores. It's a re-badged Joyride RV and it represents good value in current market prices of bikes.

It is quoted at RM6498.00 on the Modenas website. Buying it here locally means parting with about RM7000.00 of cold hard cash. But, what the heck, take a look at this cool machine.

Why isn't it worth buying for RM7000.00, compared to the RM11,830.00 price per unit it costs the police, as reported in the New Straits Times, dated 2008/08/26. (Below)

New scooters for police

By : Chuah Bee Kim

Datuk Mohd Mokhtar Mohd Shariff with deputy police chief Datuk Tun Hisan Tun Hamzah looking at the Modenas Elegan scooters at the Johor headquarters yesterday.

JOHOR BARU: Police in the state will be using scooters to patrol neighbourhoods and increase their presence in public places.

The 48 Modenas Elegan 150cc scooters, which were handed over to the force at the state police headquarters yesterday, will be attached to police stations here as well as in Batu Pahat, Muar, Kulaijaya, Kluang and Kota Tinggi.

State police chief Datuk Mohd Mokhtar Mohd Shariff said the scooters, costing RM11,830 each, would help increase police presence in neighbourhoods as policemen could patrol with greater ease using the machines.

"As Johor police now have better staff strength with the recent addition of 644 policemen, we can carry out more patrols in our crime prevention efforts."

"We will further increase our manpower soon, along with the allocation of RM1.2 million due to the development of the Iskandar Malaysia development corridor.

"This is the first time our policemen are using scooters to patrol the streets and we hope it will make an impact."

Mokhtar said Johor police had also received 246 new patrol cars and 52 motorcycles this year.

The motorcycles are 250cc Kawasaki scramblers and 150cc Kawasaki Ninja.

Besides the fleet of motorcycles, the state police will also be getting two helicopters to be stationed at the contingent soon.
"Previously, a helicopter was flown here once a fortnight. Now, we are getting our own helicopters which can be used for aerial surveillance," he said.

Mokhtar said the state police would launch its second phase community policing programme on Oct 1.

In the second phase, five police stations and 10 beat bases will be set up in neighbourhoods that recorded high crime rates.

Creative packaging

While shopping for groceries the other day, I saw this colorfully packaged chocolate drink on the shelf.

It was tagged at RM3.30 and came with a free gift of a colored growing toy which would expand 600% if immersed in water for 72 hours.

 

I love an occasional hot chocolate drink. And this was an irresistible offer. So I grabbed 2 of them and parted with RM6.60 at the cashier.

Reaching home, I could not wait to find out what it tasted like, so I ripped open the packing and opened the container, scooped 2 heaped teaspoons of the powder into a cup of hot H2O. Result: a hot cup of steaming hot chocolate drink. The chocolate drink tasted okay, except ,sometimes things were not what they seem.

 

In this case, it was the packaging to make the productive look like such an incredible value-for-money offer.

Take a peep inside the just opened container. It was only half full. Yes ! 50% product & 50% air. If the product contents had been packed in the rightfully sized container, it would only be half its size and hence might not have attracted buyers, or in this case, me.

Now that's creative packaging.

Time for my next cuppa.

Beer & Ice

Beer... that wonderful drink many cannot do without. It's said to be one of the greatest inventions of all times. These days, many eateries serve the canned beer immersed in buckets of ice-cubes. Nothing like a few well-chilled beers to compliment some tasty, hot and spicy food after a long hard day at work, especially if you are with good company.

Think about it. Some things need not be wasted. They may actually still serve a purpose. Some leftover ice-cubes in the bucket? Wait a minute, don't discard them yet. My friend with whom I was dining told me they could serve a good purpose.

They are handy for washing your hands after you are done with your food. Save you a trip to the washroom. And you save water, too. That's thoughtfulness... helping the environment.

Lazy & Wasteful

Satay is one Malaysian food which is irresistible to many people. Recently, I had dinner with a friend at a food court in Jalan Song, Kuching. My friend side-ordered a serving of beef and chicken satay. I for one am not a fan of satay. I fail to understand why some folks go gaga over it. It's expensive to pay for a real meal of satay and only good for either pampering or spoiling your taste buds. It's barbequed stuff and you all know too much of that is bad ain't good for health.

And if you happen to sit next to a satay stall, be prepared to end up smelling like a big walking piece of satay yourself. Smoky !!

The satay and the smoke don't bother me, though. What really comes to me is this... these days,the laziness and wasteful habits of people are astounding and hard to accept. Styrofoam packs meant for takeaway food are being used to serve the satay to sit-in customers. It it was me, I would have second thoughts about ordering food from that satay seller, cos I'll also be guilty of environmental abuse.

Mind you, you as the customer are paying for it as the cost of the disposable and environmentally unfriendly thing is passed on to you. We all know that these non-biodegradable junk end up in the landfills and remain there for eternity.

Enjoy food responsibly. But please, don't be lazy and Wasteful.

Quote of the Day:
An argument is the longest distance between two points of view.
--Dan Bennett

Let The Music Heal Your Soul

Music... the universal language

Oh if someone writes a song with a
simple Rhyme (Touch)
Just a song where his feeling show (`N
Sync)
And if someone feels the same about the
simple song (Moffats)
oh sometimes you can hear them sing
(Gil)
music gives you Happiness and Sadness
(Sqeezer)
But it also, also heals your soul
(Nick-BsB)

Chorus
Let the music heal your soul
let the music take control
let the music give you the power to
move any mountain

If someone plays piano with some simple
chords (Touch¨¦)
So melodic and endearing, too (Aaron)
Oh if someone plays guitar with the old
piano (Brian-BsB)
And maybe you can hear them sing (The
Boyz)
Music gives you Happiness and Sadness
(Nick-BsB)
But it also (`N Sync)
it also heals your soul (Bl¨¹mchen)

Chorus

(Brian-BsB)
Let the music heal your soul
let the music take control
let the music heal your soul

Chorus 4x

Wi-fi faces health concerns

From: Red Herring

on 11 December 2003, 22:00
by staff

The mobile telephone industry spent many years – and millions of dollars – fighting charges that wireless handsets could cause brain cancer. Now it looks like the budding wi-fi movement could face its own legal crisis with lawsuits alleging that 802.11 networks can cause similar physical problems.

A few families in the Chicago suburb of Oak Park, Illinois, have filed a class-action lawsuit against Oak Park Elementary School’s District 97. They assert that wireless local-area networks (WLAN) in the school buildings expose their children to potential harm. Their suit points to a “substantial body of evidence that high frequency electro-magnetic radiation poses substantial and serious health risks, particularly to growing children.” The suit does not seek financial damages, but an end to the use of wi-fi in the neighborhood’s schools.

The Wi-Fi Alliance, an industry group with members including Intel, Microsoft, Philips, and IBM, is aware of the suit, and says it will continue to pay attention to developments. “It’s natural when you hear about litigation for people to take notice,” says Alliance chairman Dennis Eaton. “Members are sensitive to the amount of time and effort that might have to be spent defending themselves.”

The small suit could have big ramifications, particularly with wi-fi vendors. Global sales of 802.11 networks reached almost $1.3 billion through the first three quarters of this year, according to market research firm Dell’Oro Group. Tens of millions of people use the technology now, and the company predicts that the number will grow to 707 million by 2008, says Pyramid Research.

Furthermore, as public hotspots invade hotels, airports, and coffee shops, an enormous number of people could claim to be adversely and unknowingly affected by WLANs. That is a key point of the lawsuit. “We have not established a level that can be considered safe or even tolerably safe,” says Ron Baiman, one of the parents who filed the lawsuit. “Our thinking is that it is certainly prudent at this point not to use these in public schools.”

Science, however, may not be on the parents’ side. “In our contact with radiologists and physicians in the Oak Park community, the University of Illinois, and the Illinois Institute of Technology, there were simply no studies that could be brought to our attention that could prove its harm,” says Steve Chowanski, director of management information services for the school district. In addition, wi-fi equipment must meet FCC and EPA emission standards before coming to market. “I think the parents that filed suit are concerned about a cover-up among the commercial interests in the industry,” he adds. “I feel that they do not believe that the standards in place should be used as the benchmark of whether this is safe or not.”

Because there appear to be no studies that specifically measure the biological impact of 802.11 transmissions, the debate is left to analogy. Studies with cell phones and other devices, which do not match the high frequency and low power of wi-fi, are used as comparables. Web sites that Mr. Baiman mentions as sources of information on the problems only list abstracts of studies and do not provide access to the original documents that have the details necessary to judge the accuracy of the analogy.

“The power level of wi-fi is much smaller,” says Robert Olsen, a Washington State University professor of electrical engineering, who thinks that the comparison is flawed. According to John Moulder, a professor of radiation oncology at the Medical College of Wisconsin and skeptic of many of the health charges that have been made concerning cellular phones, there are many more studies that don’t expose the detrimental effects of wi-fi than those that do. “A few people have claimed to have found effects, but a larger number have claimed the opposite,” Mr. Moulder says.

That means there are no definite answers to quell worries on either side of the argument, and that opens a world for other factors. Mehmet Unsoy, a consultant, and former chief wireless architect and vice president of technology at British Cellular service provider mm02, notes that even cellular studies that discount the potential for harm have followed subjects only for a few years, and have not examined the long-term implications of younger people being exposed.

WLANs expose people to only a tiny portion of the radiation that they are subjected to from TV, radio, microwave phone relays, wireless and cell phones, and other devices. According to Robert Cleveland, a scientist in the FCC’s office of engineering and technology, the average person is exposed to about one microwatt per square centimeter of RF (radio frequency) radiation in ordinary life. At a distance of two feet, using a worst-case calculation with the highest outputs allowable, an 802.11b (the most commonly used version of wi-fi) transmitter would deliver about double that. At the frequencies used by wi-fi, the FCC safety limit on RF exposure is 1,000 microwatts per square centimeter. Even with multiple wi-fi devices operating in the same room at even greater distances, there is relatively little RF exposure.

Another exacerbating factor on the part of the parents is a strong distrust of business and government. Mr. Baiman, for example claims “an enormous institutional and financial repression” on the part of wireless-related companies of additional information that would bear out the dangers of wi-fi. He dismisses Mr. Moulder as someone funded by the telecommunications industry.

Mr. Moulder says that he receives all of his funding from the National Cancer Institute, the National Cancer Society, and the American Heart Association, but understands the basis of mistrust. “People see things that look like scientific arguments and see references to papers that mention effects and cannot take them within the right context,” Mr. Moulder notes. “And it doesn’t help that scientists have sometimes lied to people in the past.” The tobacco industry is an obvious shadow that crosses the issue.

Should the distrust gain traction as it did in the cellular industry, wi-fi companies and hotspot operators might find similar lawsuits growing faster than the alleged tumors that plagued the phone companies. Except these would be real.

Technorati Tags: Wifi,Health,Radioactive radiation

How do I know if I marry the right person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It Depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?' Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer: EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the Imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages break down. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work, and what your spouse wants. Know your spouse's likes and dislikes. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can 'make' love. Love in marriage is indeed a 'DECISION'... Not just a feeling.

Mistake makes China worker a celebrity

August 27, 2008 - 5:13PM

A Chinese factory worker has become a celebrity after her smiling face was accidentally loaded onto an Apple iPhone and shipped to the other side of the world.

The unidentified worker flashed a smile and made a peace sign to a co-worker whose job was to test the device's camera in the southern city of Shenzhen, said a spokesman for Foxconn, which assembles the phones for Apple.

The woman's colleague apparently forgot to delete the photo from the phone, which was sold to a consumer in Britain, who posted it on the internet, Foxconn spokesman Liu Kun told AFP.

He said so far only one phone was known to be affected.

"Small mistakes are unavoidable," Liu said. "I would call this a beautiful mistake."

The photo created a stir on internet forums after the British consumer, who identified himself only as Mark M, shared his discovery on the MacRumors.com website.

Some customers joked on the website that they were considering returning their phones because they did not come loaded with the woman's photo.

Liu said the factory worker was unsettled by the sudden fame after her photo appeared on websites and newspapers, and that her bosses had assured her that her job is safe. He said the company would not release her name or any details.

"Even passers-by recognise her face and can't help noticing her," Liu said. "She is quite nervous right now because she never experienced this much attention."

The photo was taken in the testing department as part of normal procedure and no rules were broken, Liu said.

He said Apple was very understanding and that the Taiwan-based manufacturer was working with the computer giant to prevent similar incidents from reoccurring.

But that might come as a disappointment to some.

As one person wrote in an internet post: "It would be great for every Chinese worker who makes your iPhones to take a snap of herself or her factory friends ... a hello from a person you would never otherwise meet.

"Globalisation in practice."

© 2008 AFP

Source : theage.com.au

Read what people have to say about this pretty girl

Cute face of 'beautiful mistake'

By Chen Hong (China Daily)
Updated: 2008-08-27 07:55

She might have done nothing more than flash a smile to her colleague testing an iPhone camera on a Chinese production line. But her "angel-like" smile has attracted the attention of iPhone users across the world.

The "iPhone-girl" frenzy began last week when her photographs appeared on MacRumors.com, a popular forum of Apple product fans.

Markm49uk, a British netizen who posted the photographs, said he found the mystery girl smiling at him from the screen when he unpacked his new 3G iPhone. He found two more of her photographs in the photo album.

The round-faced Chinese girl, in pink-and-white uniform, makes a "V" sign while working on an assembly line and smiles from the iPhone screen.

The girl's beautiful face has become a permanent fixture on the new iPhone because one of her colleagues apparently forgot to delete it from the memory of the master copy.

Then began netizens' search for her, making her instantly popular and prompting even the global media to report the incident.

Many people fear that the girl could be penalized by her employers for posing for the home screen. But her employers Foxconn, a Taiwan-funded company that makes iPhones for Apple in the southern Chinese city of Shenzhen, has given an assurance that she or her supervisor would not be penalized.

In fact, Foxconn has described the incident as a "beautiful mistake".

"She is an assembly worker in the mobile phone testing department and she is still working there. But she has requested us not to make her name public and we will respect her decision," Liu Kun, Foxconn Technology Group spokesman, said. He, however, told China Daily that the girl was a native of Hunan province.

Her photograph appeared on the iPhone screen because of "a small mistake during our working process but the outcome has not been negative". On the contrary, "her lovely face has become popular on the Internet and we would rather call it a beautiful mistake", Liu said.

Every iPhone's built-in camera will be tested from now on, and any such photographs deleted, Liu said. "Apple and Foxconn staff have started a joint probe into the incident."

But most of the netizens seem to like the girl with a "very cute" face.

A netizen named Chris Meadows has written: "If I knew my iPhone would come with a photo of a cute, smiling girl, I would almost be willing to pay extra (especially if it also included her email address)."

Netizen ASH has even suggested that Foxconn make the girl its ambassador because her smile shows even assembly line workers can have fun at work.

Source : China Daily

The road that takes forever to built

This is about something that really annoys me and lots of people in Sibu.

It's frustrating ! For anyone who has to make regular trips to the Sibu airport and for those who live at Sibu Jaya and surrounding areas, driving along that stretch of road approaching the airport is something to dread about.

The reconstruction of the that short stretch has taken more than 2 years if I can recollect correctly. During my trips to the airport over this period of time, there were little or no work activities. Not a single worker was in sight. What I saw were steam rollers and some machineries idling about.

The condition and slow progress of the road construction pose great danger to road users. Road lamp posts had been removed due to the road construction. At night, that stretch is pitch dark and the lack of hazard lights and necessary road signs compound the danger faced by road users. Try driving there especially on a rainy night (i had the unfortunate necessity to do that) , and you would understand and experience the danger you are being exposed to.

In fact, accidents and loss of lives have resulted due to the slow progress of the work and the pathetic condition of the road, the poor safety standard/road signs and the bad visibility at night. The reconstruction of that short stretch of road has taken unreasonably far too long.

i have ferried many visitors to and from the airport, and they are appalled at this sorry state of affairs. The condition of the road leaves them with a very bad first impression of Sibu.

How am i going to feel proud of my town?

Quote of the Day:
Fear is something to be moved through, not something to be turned from.
--Peter McWilliams

What are roads in Malaysia used for?

(Somebody sent this by email)

Written by David Astley, a British/Ozzie guy now living in KL

A guide for expatriate drivers in Malaysia

Since arriving in Malaysia in 1997, I have tried on many occasions to buy a copy of the Malaysian road rules, but have come to the conclusion that no such publication exists (or if it does, it has been out of print for years). Therefore after carefully observing the driving habits of Malaysian drivers, I believe I have at last worked out the rules of the road in Malaysia.

For the benefit of other expatriates living in Malaysia, and the 50% of local drivers who acquired their driving licences without taking a driving test, I am pleased to share my knowledge below:

Q: What is the most important rule of the road in Malaysia?
A: The most important rule is that you must arrive at your destination ahead of the car in front of you. This is the sacrosanct rule of driving in Malaysia. All other rules are subservient to this rule.

Q: What side of the road should you drive on in Malaysia?
A: 99.7% of cars drive on the left hand side, 0.2% on the right hand side, and 0.1% drive in reverse (be on the look out for drivers reversing at high speed in the left hand lane of freeways, having just missed their exit). Therefore on the basis of 'majority rules', it is recommended that you drive on the left. However, be aware that only 90% of motorcyclists travel on the left hand side - the other 10% ride in the opposite direction or on the sidewalk. Fortunately, motorcyclists traveling in reverse are rarely seen.

Q: What are the white lines on the roads?
A: These are known as lane markers and were used by the British in the colonial days to help them drive straight. Today their purpose is mainly decorative, although a double white line is used to indicate a place that is popular to overtake.

Q: When can I use the emergency lane?
A: You can use the emergency lane for any emergency, e.g. you are late for work, you left the toaster plugged in at home, you are bursting to go to the toilet, you have a toothache or you have just dropped your Starbucks coffee in your lap. As it is an emergency, you may drive at twice the speed of the other cars on the road.

Q: Do traffic lights have the same meaning as in other countries?
A: Not quite. Green is the same that means "Go", but amber and red are different. Amber means "Go like hell" and red means "Stop if there is traffic coming in the other direction or if there is a policeman on the corner". Otherwise red means the same as green. Note that for buses, red lights do not take effect until five seconds after the light has changed.

Q: What does the sign "Jalan Sehala" mean?
A: This means "One Way Street" and indicates a street where the traffic is required to travel in one direction. The arrow on the sign indicates the preferred direction of the traffic flow, but is not compulsory. If the traffic is not flowing in the direction in which you wish to travel, then reversing in that direction is the best option.

Q: What does the sign "Berhenti" mean?
A: This means "Stop", and is used to indicate a junction where there is a possibility that you may have to stop if you cannot fool the cars on the road that you are entering into thinking that you are not going to stop.

Q: What does the sign "Beri Laluan" mean?
A: This means "Give Way", and is used to indicate a junction where the cars on the road that you are entering will give way to you provided you avoid all eye contact with them and you can fool them into thinking that you have not seen them.

Q: What does the sign "Dilarang Masuk" mean?
A: This means "No Entry". However, when used on exit ramps in multi-storey car parks, it has an alternative meaning which is: "Short cut to the next level up".

Q: What does the sign "Pandu Cermat" mean?
A: This means "Drive Smartly", and is placed along highways to remind drivers that they should never leave more than one car length between them and the car in front, irrespective of what speed they are driving. This is to ensure that other cars cannot cut in front of you and thus prevent you from achieving the primary objective of driving in Malaysia, and that is to arrive ahead of the car in front of you.
If you can see the rear number plate of the car in front of you, then you are not driving close enough.

Q: What is the speed limit in Malaysia?
A: The concept of a speed limit is unknown in Malaysia.

Q: So what are the round signs on the highways with the numbers, 60, 80 and
110?
A: This is the amount of the 'on-the-spot' fine (in ringgits - the local currency) that you have to pay to the police if you are stopped on that stretch of the highway. Note that for expatriates or locals driving Mercedes or BMWs, the on-the-spot fine is double the amount shown on the sign.

Q: Where do you pay the 'on-the-spot' fine?
A: As the name suggests, you pay it 'on-the-spot' to the policeman who has stopped you. You will be asked to place your driving licence on the policeman's notebook that he will hand to you through the window of your car. You will note that there is a spot on the cover of the notebook. Neatly fold the amount of your fine into four, place the fine on the spot, and then cover it with your driving licence so that it cannot be seen. Pass it carefully to the policeman. Then, with a
David Copperfield movement of his hands, he will make your money disappear. It is not necessary to applaud.

Q: But isn't this a bribe?
A: Oh pleeease, go and wash your mouth out. What do you want? A traffic ticket? Yes, you can request one of those instead, but it will cost you twice the price, forms to fill out, cheques to write, envelopes to mail, and then three months later when you are advised that your fine was never received, more forms to fill out, a trip to the police station, a trip to the bank, a trip back to the police station, and maybe then you will wish you had paid 'on-the-spot'.

Q: But what if I haven't broken any road rules?
A: It is not common practice in Malaysia to stop motorists for breaking road rules (because nobody is really sure what they are). The most common reasons for being stopped are:
(a) the policeman is hungry and would like you to buy him lunch;
(b) the policeman has run out of petrol and needs some money to get back to the station;
(c) you look like a generous person who would like to make a donation to the police
welfare fund; or
(d) you are driving an expensive car which means you can afford to make a donation to the police welfare fund.

Q: Does my car require a roadworthy certificate before I can drive it in Malaysia?
A: No, roadworthy certificates are not required in Malaysia. However there are certain other statutory requirements that must be fulfilled before your car can be driven in Malaysia.
Firstly, you must ensure that your windscreen is at least 50% obscured with English football
club decals, golf club membership stickers or condo parking permits.
Secondly, you must place a tissue box (preferably in a white lace cover) on the back shelf of your car under the rear window.
Thirdly, you must hang as many CDs or plastic ornaments from your rear vision mirror as it will support. Finally, you must place a Garfield doll with suction caps on one of your windows. Your car will then be ready to drive on Malaysian roads.

Q: What does a single yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means parking is permitted.

Q: What does a double yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means double parking is permitted.

Q: What does a yellow box with a diagonal grid of yellow lines painted on the road at a junction mean?
A: Contrary to the understanding of some local drivers, this does not mean that diagonal parking is permitted. It indicates a junction that is grid-locked at peak hours.

Q: Can I use my mobile phone whilst driving in Malaysia?
A: No problem at all, but it should be noted that if you wish to use the rear-vision mirror to put on your lipstick (women only please) or trim your eyebrows at the same time as you are using a mobile phone in the other hand, you should ensure that you keep an elbow free to steer the car. Alternatively, you may place a toddler on your lap and have the child steer the car whilst you are carrying out these other essential driving tasks.

Q: Is it necessary to use indicator lights in Malaysia?
A: These blinking orange lights are commonly used by newly arrived expatriate drivers to indicate they are about to change lanes. This provides a useful signal to local drivers to close up any gaps to prevent the expatriate driver from changing lanes. Therefore it is recommended that expatriate drivers adopt the local practice of avoiding all use of indicator lights. However, it is sometimes useful to turn on your left hand indicator if you want to merge right, because this confuses other drivers enabling you to take advantage of an unprotected gap in the traffic.

Q: Why do some local drivers turn on their left hand indicator and then turn right, or turn on their right hand indicator and then turn left?
A: This is one of the unsolved mysteries of driving in Malaysia.

Q. What is the use of the hazard warning lights?
A. Contrary to all international protocol, this four way flashing light is = switched on when the Police are escorting VIPs on the road to warn lesser mortals to move out of the way and not hinder the flow of the motorcade.
Taking a cue from the Police, motorists use this at the slightest excuse when it rains to tell other motorist to get out of the way as using their hazard light anoints them with powers that part the traffic, somewhat akin to Moses parting the Red Sea.

Daddy, how was i born ?

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


Scroll down...You'll love this

Imagine all the people...living life in peace

Imagine (John Lennon)

Best Music Videos

EVerything I do, i do it for you (Bryan Adams)

I hate printers !!

Printers...they are a damn bloody waste of ink and paper. Shit! That translates into $$$.

And the bundled drivers are often so crappy that they print out junk you don't want or suffer from some incompatibility that screws up your computer's configuration, rebooting your pc every now and then. (One shining example is the Canon Pixma 1880,and i was so pissed off by it that i felt like tossing it in the air and kicking the f**king piece of shit out of my life forever and into the trash.)

And not to mention that they are so enviroment unfriendly. An ink catridge runs out of ink in no time and the enviroment becomes the victim with tons of discarded used catridges contributing to the massive amounts of non-biodegradable garbage in the landfills.

I have so much anger to vent on printers and the atrocious prices we have to pay for inkjet catridges.

But i ain't got no time or energy right now... Perhaps, those of you who got pissed off by inkjet printers would find your frustration spot on by this video...

Printers !! What a load of bullshit !!

Fuel price increase : changing your lifestyle

The hottest discussion topic on everyone's lips these few days is of course non other than the drastic increase in retail prices of petrol and diesel.

After announcing the 40% petrol and 60% diesel price hike, our PM dished out this piece of advice to Malaysians ...."change your lifestyes" ... to cushion the effect and to make life less painful. But how? He had not offered concrete suggestions and ideas.

I think we should take the advice seriously and think about how we can go about changing our lifestyles.

Perhaps, as a sign of good leadership, the PM and all the ministers can set a few good examples on changing lifestyles and saving money on fuel.

Here are a few options they should seriously consider:

With immediate effect, they should all drive Kancils to work; gas guzzling monster cars are a definite no-no these days.

Better still, since Kancils are not versatile enough as they also get stuck in traffic jams, thereby wasting precious fuel, they should abandon four-wheelers and instead zip around on Modenas Krisses.

But, that's not good enough. The best example they can show would be to use and personally experience the effectiveness that the combination of the public transport system (buses, kereta sapu, taxis, LRT, monorial) delivers our VIP commuters to their destinations in the course of performing their duties to the rakyat

And make sure the above actions of leadership by example get a good splash all over the mainstream media. It may hit home and the rakyat may learn a few fast lessons on how to conserve fuel and do what the government is telling them to do.....change your lifestyles.

It sucks !!! big time.

Some tips on getting more out of every litre of petrol

Only fill up your vehicle in the early morning when the ground temperature is cold. Remember, service stations have buried storage tanks. The colder the ground, the more dense the fuel. When it gets warmer, petrol expands. Thus, buying in the afternoon will give you a litre which is not exactly a litre. A one-degree temperature rise is a big deal for business. But service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.

Squeeze the nozzle's trigger at a low speed, thereby minimising vapours created while pumping. Fast pumping will cause liquid petrol to vaporise and get sucked back through the hose's vapour return mechanism. You are getting less for your money.

Another tip was to refuel when your tank is half full. The more fuel in your tank means less air occupying its empty space. Petrol evaporates faster than you can imagine. Petroleum storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the petrol and the atmosphere, so it minimises the evaporation.

Don't refuel when a fuel truck is pumping into the underground storage tank as it could stir up sediment.

Oh man, i love this country

Oh man, I love this country
I called it the land of political absurdity
Full of ludicrousness amid stupidity
First in the pipeline is Mr. Badawi
The country's fifth Perdana Menteri
Hailed from notable ulama's family
In that spirit he created a new Islam Hadhari
The so-called modern Islam resembling Turkey
Some touted it as Islam Ada Hari
When the original Islam turned awry.

He loves to travel in style like big celebrity
Making grand entrance in any opportunity
So he insisted a private jet paid by Treasury
He got it despite hullabaloo by bloggers community
He said the government didn't purchase it out rightly
The government is leasing it from SPM, a GLC
For him, this is a good strategy
By doing that he thinks he can save money
Oh yeah, he thinks people believe his story.

Perth seems to be his favourite city
Last December he opened Nasi Kandar Puteri
And then went on sailing trip with Todt of Ferrari
Back home worst flood hit Johor Kota Tinggi
17 died and 90,000 evacuated in that tragedy
But yet, the jet setting PM was outside the country
He might use remote control key.

Badawi has son-in-law by the name of Khairy
He married Badawi's daughter Nori
Recently both blessed with the baby
That has longest name in the country
I can only remember the last name, Khairy
This young chap is Pemuda Umno deputy
Claimed to have "protection" from Mr. Badawi
Has a big wish to be PM by age of forty
So he is gathering support from Putera and Puteri
At the same time accumulated wealth aggressively
Through ECM Libra and some crony
Media was at his helm through NST
Now he has potent tools – money, media and machinery
And his father-in-law alias Perdana Menteri

Meanwhile Hisham is putting up a new strategy
His keris wielding attracts flak of Malay supremacy
It backfires especially to Chinese community
His reasoning draws conclusion that he is puny
Najib is not convince Hisham to be his deputy
Najib may consider a big mouth Nazri
Provided that Rosmah is okay to work with Nazri
You know why lah, Najib takut bini.

We don't have to elaborate the story
You have to come here to enjoy the absurdity
We have quite a few funny ministers and MP
Such as hilarious Work Minister Mr. Samy
Before Hindraf he represents Indian community
The longest serving minister that heads MIC
In press conference he got agitated quite easily
When Umno conference was held on Deepavali
He said no "open house" as sign of hostility
He twisted the decision maybe after talking to Indrani
This MIC leaders share similar trait and personality
The latest one was Cameron Highland MP Mr. Devamani
He has broken ranks with fellow BN MP
When he accused government not doing enough for Indian community
After meeting with BN Whip, he regretted and say sorry.

Let me continue my story
Well, you probably have heard it already
About the biggest anti-government rally
Not exactly same scale as 98 Reformasi
On Nov 10 more than 40,000 flooded the city
To protest unfair election practice against EC
Dirty ruling party tactics are legendary
Short-notice on Election Day is customary
Just a day before Pak Lah was basking in glory
In annual affair of UMNO general assembly
Full of hypocrisy and puji-memuji
Pak Lah shouted it loud "don't challenge me"
Despite threats and warning from Pak Lah and Khairy
People are defiant and take no heed from Badawi
They chanted God is Great, Daulat Tuanku and Reformasi
November is a month of illegal assembly
School holidays thus parents are quite free.

The rally was given wide publicity
The rally was headlined in Al Jazeera and BBC
Foreign media questioned our brand of democracy
Water cannon and tear gas were fired indiscriminately
Umno leaders are in denial state naturally
Such as Zam who head the Info Ministry
Zam was trembling uncharacteristically
In an interview that becoming laughing stock in the country
Scrambling for words and chew out frantically
He can't censor it as we are in digital technology
You can just Google or YouTube easily.

Well that is one example of political absurdity
What do you expect from half past six menteri
Some are in complete ignorance and dreary
Some will resort to unthinkable publicity
Giving broom as reward never in history
Some will slaughter cows in parliament for kenduri
To celebrate the matrimony of our own Sleeping Beauty
Another stupid joke by backbencher MPs.

You can't find this in your country
A journalist like Michael Backman will agree
So many things to write for your Daily
No wonder he keeps coming here for juicy story
Malay tabloids prefer to write about ghost and celebrity
That's saleable among ordinary
Maybe they got sick of constant spat by political party
They prefer to idolise people like Siti or Mawi
Do you think they care who is their MP?

Is there life after oil ?

Some good news. With oil prices now at USD135 a barrel and expected to hit USD2000 by end 2008, this is certainly worth reading on....

I discovered something amazing recently and I tried to tell a bunch of friends about it. A guy in Illinois has, it seems, invented a device that can turn almost anything into oil, plus a few byproducts (all useful).

I, for example, could be transformed into 40 pounds of light sweet crude, 7 pounds of flammable gas, 8 pounds of high-quality mineral fertilizer, and 125 pounds of slightly cloudy water, give or take. Individual results may vary.

Inventor Paul Buskis is not planning to process people, of course. He's going after trash. His thermo-depolymerization process works on any carbon-based substance--chicken entrails, tires, plastic milk jugs, you name it. Garbage in, oil out--that's the promise.

My friends scoffed. "Sounds too good to be true," was their consensus. "It'll never work."

Ah, but it's already working. A company called Changing World Technologies has built a plant in Carthage, Missouri, based on Buskis's process. It's producing 400 barrels of oil a day right now, extruded from the wastes of nearby turkey processing plants. The company is building another plant in Philadelphia to process sewage into black gold.

My friends would have none of this. They assured me the invention will emit toxic pollution. (It doesn't.) It will use more energy than it produces. (Quite the opposite.) It's voodoo science: "How can oil be created?"

Well, it's been done before. The earth created oil by heating, cooling, and squeezing the rotted remains of plants and animals. Buskis replicates that process mechanically. What took millions of years in nature, his process achieves in a day.

Inconceivable? Not really. Even in nature, Buskis says, the transformation occurred rapidly. What took millions of years was for the right conditions to line up by chance.

A monkey banging on a typewriter might take millions of years to come up with a great sonnet. That doesn't make us doubt that Shakespeare could do it in a day. But if this thing is real, my friends countered, why aren't people stampeding to buy the stock?

Because there is no stock. This technology is closely held by a small group of private investors including James Woolsey, a former director of the CIA, and Howard Buffet, son of the legendary investing genius Warren Buffet.

Ah. Now the skepticism faded away.

"I knew it," one of my friends uttered bitterly.

"And it's still oil," another scolded. "Burning it still creates pollution...." Everyone leaned back, relieved. They had no trouble believing my news as long as it wasn't that thing with feathers. You know. Hope.

Tamim Ansary

Worth a click:

Changing World Technologies home page
Discover magazine on the science of trash-to-oil technologies
Fortune magazine on the financials of trash-to-oil technologies

What's the last thing you take off before you get into bed?

Yes...this is a riddle.

"What's the last thing you take off before you get into bed?"

First person to respond with the correct answer...you get sponsored to be the next malaysian astronaut to go to the ISS.

Dizzy Daffynitions

I'm the new kid on the blog. Hope to post some meaningful stuff soon. But right now...

For starters.....here are some crazie and dizzy daffynitions.....

Alarm clock: a mechanical device to wake up people who don't have small children.

Ash tray: something to put ashes in if a room doesn't have a floor.


Bigamist: a person who's taken one too many.


Boss: a man who is at the office early on the days when you are late.


Caterpillar: an uphoistered worm.


Circle:a round straight line with a hole in the middle.


Confidence: the feeling you have before you know better.


Cuisine: any food that you can't pronounce.


Denial: a river in Egypt.


Duck: a bird that looks as if it has been riding a horse all day.

Flood: a river too big for its bridges.


Forger: a person who is always ready to write a wrong.


Gossip: rumortism.


Harp: a nude piano.


Infant prodigy: a small child with imaginative parents.


Laugh: a smile that burst.


Lawsuit: a policeman's uniform.


Lecture: something that makes you feel numb at one end and dumb at the other.


Lost-and-found department: a place where people take things they've found and have no use for.


Mischief: the chief's daughter.


Missing: to sing incorrectly.


Mosquitoes: a small insect designed by nature to make you think better of flies.


Mountain climber: someone who wants to take a peak.


Net income: the money a fisherman earns.


Paradox: two medical doctors.


Pessimist: someone who's only happy when he's miserable.


Professor: someone who goes to college and never gets out.


Raisin: a worried grape.


Skeleton: bones with people scraped off.


Snoring: sweet music while you sleep, or try to.


Spanking: stern punishment.


Steam: water gone crazy with the heat.


Synonym: the word you use in place of the one you can't spell.


Window shopper: a store gazer.


World: a big ball that revolves on its taxes.

Let's all chat

Everyone loves to chat. What's that ?

The dictionary describes chat as follow:-

intr.v. chat�ted , chat�ting , chats
1. To converse in an easy, familiar manner; talk lightly and casually.
2. Computer Science To participate in a synchronous exchange of remarks with one or more people over a computer network.

NOUN:
1. An informal, light conversation.
2. Computer Science A synchronous exchange of remarks over a computer network.
3. Any of several birds known for their chattering call, as of the genera Saxicola or Icteria.

Definition (1) ... is what everyone does everyday... at home, at work, at dinners, at social gatherings, parties, meetings, blah blah blah.....

Definition (2) ...well if you're hooked to the internet, chances are you'll be chatting with someone on the IMs or some social network.

Definition (3)... i'm kinda get used to the chattering of the swiftlets which regularly perch outside on my window sill. First there were 2 of them... now they've extended their family. The other day I saw that they had weaved a nest into the recess between my siren box and the ceiling. I not only had to contend with more chatterings of their young chicks....but their droppings on my balcony.

This is exactly what this darn blog is all about.....chat chat chat... blah blah blah.....

Anything and everything under the sun....or moon

Have fun..... monkeying around.