Dizzy Daffynitions

I'm the new kid on the blog. Hope to post some meaningful stuff soon. But right now...

For starters.....here are some crazie and dizzy daffynitions.....

Alarm clock: a mechanical device to wake up people who don't have small children.

Ash tray: something to put ashes in if a room doesn't have a floor.


Bigamist: a person who's taken one too many.


Boss: a man who is at the office early on the days when you are late.


Caterpillar: an uphoistered worm.


Circle:a round straight line with a hole in the middle.


Confidence: the feeling you have before you know better.


Cuisine: any food that you can't pronounce.


Denial: a river in Egypt.


Duck: a bird that looks as if it has been riding a horse all day.

Flood: a river too big for its bridges.


Forger: a person who is always ready to write a wrong.


Gossip: rumortism.


Harp: a nude piano.


Infant prodigy: a small child with imaginative parents.


Laugh: a smile that burst.


Lawsuit: a policeman's uniform.


Lecture: something that makes you feel numb at one end and dumb at the other.


Lost-and-found department: a place where people take things they've found and have no use for.


Mischief: the chief's daughter.


Missing: to sing incorrectly.


Mosquitoes: a small insect designed by nature to make you think better of flies.


Mountain climber: someone who wants to take a peak.


Net income: the money a fisherman earns.


Paradox: two medical doctors.


Pessimist: someone who's only happy when he's miserable.


Professor: someone who goes to college and never gets out.


Raisin: a worried grape.


Skeleton: bones with people scraped off.


Snoring: sweet music while you sleep, or try to.


Spanking: stern punishment.


Steam: water gone crazy with the heat.


Synonym: the word you use in place of the one you can't spell.


Window shopper: a store gazer.


World: a big ball that revolves on its taxes.